Mental Health

Why Being Antisocial Is A Good Thing.

being antisocial solo travel
Michael Huxley in Ethiopia travelling solo

There is a saying that no man is an island, a feminised lie made up to make men think that we should hang around with everyone and talk about our feelings! But the truth is not just that real men are islands, but we should be islands with sniper towers and 50 cal encampments on the beaches to keep other people away because being antisocial is a good thing!

Okay, things aren’t that bad, other people are okay, I guess, but modern man has lost that ability to be stoic and proud of the fact that they can stand alone, independent, with no need for anyone and anything. It is time to reclaim that and declare that we are a damn island and we are impenetrable. It is time to say antisocial isn’t a dirty word, we want to be left alone in our shed or man cave and we are quite happy in our own company!

Here is exactly why it is good to be antisocial!

Alone, not lonely.

There is a world of difference between being alone, not lonely. I learned this very early on on my first solo round the world trip. I was technically alone and loved spending time in my own company, but I was never lonely.

You know why I was never lonely? Because I was constantly surrounded by people, when I wanted to be. There’s nothing wrong with spending time with others when you want, so when I did want some company I went to the hostel common room or that beach bar and spent time with them. When I didn’t, I spent time on my own! I had a choice! And I absolutely loved it.

You appreciate company more when you do choose it.

Men evolved to hunt on open savannahs, we have an evolutionary instinct to spend long periods of time alone. When you are constantly surrounded by people non stop, living in a crowded city, commuting on crowded public transport, whatever, there is no or very little value in the connections you make. By removing yourself from that as much as possible, enjoying your own company and then choosing when, where and who you decide to spend time with without the need to constantly have people around you, you develop stronger, deeper relationships because you appreciate them more.

Antisocial people are smarter.

There are a lot of studies that show that men who crave spending time alone are much smarter than average. You can’t argue with it. It’s science!

You get to do what you want.

Read a book? Binge watch a box set? Play COD for days on end with no one judging you? Being antisocial means that you can do what you want when you want, and that my friends is half the fun of being a man!

It makes you stronger.

One thing is certain besides death and taxes, and that is life can sometimes be an utter shit and throw some real curveballs your way, and you won’t always have people around to help, so if you are antisocial and are used to dealing with things yourself then you build your ability to deal with things yourself and overcome any challenges life throws at you.

Being antisocial builds you into a man who is resilient and self reliant, and who can argue with that?

Your identity is your own.

Many people are drawn to group identity because it helps them define themselves through that identity, and that is okay to an extent but a real man knows who he is first and applies other identities second. When you spend time alone your personal identity comes from you and you alone, it is something internal. You can take on parts of other identities too but they don’t define you, your self esteem or survival aren’t completely reliant on them.

When you are by yourself you make choices based on who you are and what you want, not based on any outside influences. Being comfortable in your own skin, being comfortable with who you are above and beyond anything and anyone else is an essential part of masculinity, one that has largely been lost in modern society.

Time to reclaim it.

It is liberating.

Being antisocial is not just a good thing, it is absolutely liberating. Being on your own means you have full control over your envioronment and the way you spend your time, and that sense of freedom is like nothing else on earth!

Don’t let anyone tell you being antisocial is a bad thing! Those people are just too weak to know what to do unless they are surrounded by other people! Be a real man. Be antisocial!